Photo of the day: HAPPY (yes) 68th BIRTHDAY CHER ! – If ever an icon has kept the love of six generations of fans, she has, with a hit record in every decade. No recording artist has done that. I have had the sheer delight to have met her several times and she is as beautiful inside as she is outside. Happy Birthday Cher – you DID turn back time !
My personalized advertising on the Barclays Oculus
Photo of the day: CHER COMES TO BROOKLYN’S BARCLAYS CENTER TONIGHT! – Six decades of hits, six decades of fashion, six decades of fantastic shows all culminate tonight in Cher’s “Dressed To Kill” tour here in New York. Cher the eighth wonder of the world, will perform with loveable ‘fun girl’ Cyndi Lauper at Brooklyn’s new modern wonder the Oculus, at the Barclays Center. I’ll be there with Janet Novick and my international Cher fan friends and we’ll be ‘dressed to kill’!
(I’ve done my own advertising on the Barclays oculus here with my photos personally taken of Cher and Cyndi.)
Photo of the day: WHO WORE IT BEST? – Whilst waiting for Cher to make her en-trance and exit from the David Letterman show, we Cher fans had a little fun with a replica of the now iconic paper wig that Cher wears her new “It’s A Woman’s World” video. Our wig was made by awesome super fan Jamilka Gonzalez. So…who wore it best?
Photo of the day: CHER, THE OLIVE BRANCH AND HANS
– After having written my now very much read criticism of Cher’s entrance and exit from the Letterman show, the article has caused some interesting reactions and or effects. Yes of course I got my haters and then – many agreed with me. It seems the article, via twitter, blog, Facebook, however, got to Cher’s people (!) and an olive branch was extended. My olive branch was being “on the list” with my good friend Janet Novick to attend a private catered listening party for “Closer To The Truth” at the not opened yet Club Tao on West 16th Street. They were still painting the walls as we got there.
West 19th Street
The club is a cross of 80’s feel seating, geisha girl murals painted on exposed brick walls, candles everywhere and quiet elegance. Hors d’oeuvre and champagne were free flowing. Drag queens were on the balcony above to dance to her music while the chosen few mingled below.
Cher’s people, fan club members and friends who had read my article “Cher Distances Herself from Her Fans” insisted that the ‘distant’ Cher is controlled by Ebar, the head of her now over-the-top security team. “Cher is still the loveable Cher we all love, it’s her (relatively) new team!” everyone said. From having now studied the photos of Cher’s arrival at Letterman it is more and more obvious.
Frenzy took over the room when Cher descended slowly down the stairs into the club. Janet and I went to see and noticed she, despite her heels, had gotten a lot taller – it was the damned good impersonator Steven Andrade who happened to love Janet.
HANS VON RITTERN and JANET NOVICK
Janet Novick and Steven Andrade as Cher
Hans – tall Cher – Janet
Steven adores Janet and called Janet ‘a celebrity in her own right’ so Steven/Cher wanted to take Janet and me to meet the real Cher, so she snuck us out of the club and into the underground garage where Cher was just about to arrive. There she was! A surreal moment: me, Janet, ‘tall Cher, the real Cher and a few of her security team, alone – in this underground garage. No I didn’t have my camera because it was all so sudden and the sight of my fancy camera might have whisked Cher away. So there we were the four of us. Hans, Janet, Cher and Cher! Cher laughed and said “You’re taller! I like your outfit, you look good!” Smiled broadly and waved at us and entered the club. What a Cher/Cher moment!! Thank you dear Steven Andrade !
Cher and Club Drag Queens
“I hope you like my album, er…CD!”
“I love you all”
Inside the surge was on to get close to the real Cher. My problem was, no “professional cameras” allowed. So while everyone was flashing away with their cell phones, I wasn’t allowed take pictures. 😦 You see, my cell phone is a lousy 3G dinosaur age phone with no flash.) There I was close to her and no pics! Watching her up close you could see she was gracious as ever, but always ‘led’ by her walled team. (I did finally sneak the few photos you see here.)
> Here is where I will amend what I have written earlier. It is not totally Cher distancing herself from her fans. She is still as warm an fuzzy as ever and has a steel trap mind, remembering people on the spot that she had not seen in years and tries to reach out to them. > It is her security detail! < They barricaded her everywhere she moved. There was a ‘Believe’ record producer “Mike” who even had a hard time getting to her. We were about 150 privately invited, pre-screened guests and ~still~ the over the top security walled her off. I watched her closely, Cher is still Cher, just as her team of fans insisted, she has just been walled away from us. But – I will still argue, Cher should be a “strong enough” woman to say “I’m going over there, etc” and do so, but since she has put herself in Ebar’s hands, there is nothing we can do and we Cher fans will have to learn to accept her at somewhat of a distance now.
Cher speaks from the heart
Ok – so I’m not “done” with Cher. It is a sad loss of old ‘accessible Cher’, maybe she will get enough complaints, maybe she will eventually stand strong and see the light and look more to her fans at events. Maybe one day when she does the wheel chair tour, the security around her will have changed, Cher will never change inside. Cher now reaches out simply in the ‘new way’, a fast and furious opinionated tweeter. It’s a different age I’ll have to catch up to.
Cher – I forgot to thank Tao?!
“Did I do OK?”
So – to be in the room with her and to see her flawless face and fabulous clothes was a thrill. My thanks to Cher’s circle, John Torello and the fan club for extending the olive branch to me, it did make me think . . . “what would I have done without Cher?!?” 🙂
Photo of the day: CHER DISTANCES HERSELF FROM HER TRUE FANS! – Cher, Your old time fans, were standing outside the Letterman stage door since 11am in the center right opposite your car! We were put behind security fences, fine. Bomb sniffing dogs checked us out front and back, fine. Your choreographer Dori came out and spoke to us, some of your crew did as well. They knew many of us by name and were very warm and friendly. We waited patiently. YET – when you arrived you did not open your eyes to see your true diehard fans dressed in Cher regalia from head to toe that you should be grateful for. Instead, you let yourself be ‘led’ over to the area in the open street with NO security fence that had not been checked and the greedy ebay hustlers professing their love to you to get autographs (Clue Cher: true fans want a photo, not an Ebayable signature.) Any blind fool could see your fans were totally dissed. But when you arrived in your SUV Escalade and your very rude and nasty security entourage turned what had been a love fest into a stunning snub. I will not be buying your CD or concert ticket. After 50 years of my loyal undying devotion, the nerve has been severed. Three strikes and you’re out. I never ever thought I would say this but – I’m done.
If you can’t take the few seconds it takes to open your eyes and see the true faces of the people that have had your back since the 1960’s standing there, then what you implied is truly true “I don’t have the time.“ Cher, if this is “a woman’s world” then why don’t you be your own woman? You did the EXACT same thing last time you were at Letterman and left your fans that had stood there for as much as 7 hours in the November cold. Same upturned hand gestures, same entourage, same “I’m running late” excuse. ‘Tell the truth’ you are Cher, the most in demand/talked about music artist right now. Whoever is waiting for you, will wait an extra 60 seconds. With your huge crew – you are never ever on time?? There were fans there from Boston who took a day off, from Connecticut and lost a days pay, a fan FROM BELGIUM who flew in to see you, yes Belgium, yet you have turned into the Bette Midler of celebrities, who can’t be bothered to pose 60 seconds for photos for your true fans – or at least even smile! On top of all else, on the day of your CD release no less, you wouldn’t even bother to pose for one decent photo for the press. (The still photo you see of Cher on the internet is of her turning away from the press, a still moment giving the illusion she was cooperative. The press yelled at her: “Cher we need a clean shot!” She would not oblige.) To bite the hand that feeds your 67 year old self is dangerous. Your press and fans are seeing this ugly trend.
Cher – if “I” could turn back time, I would want the non elite, humble, good natured, open eyed, accessible Cher back, not you.
Die hard Cher fans
Cher’s New York appearances on The NBC Morning Today Show and David Letterman left her fans literally out in the cold too. For the Today show, fans camped out overnight 24 hours in advance in the cold to be in front to see her. The Today show people put the overnighters in the third section in the back so you could not see a thing. Who got front row preference? The corporate sponsors and NBC’S lottery winners, not the die-hards who have supported her since the 1960’s and 1970’s. Lady Gaga would not stand for that.
Cher at Gay Pride Dance New York City 2013
Photo of the day: THANK GOD IT’S SUNDAY !
Photo of the day: LOVE IS ALL, ALL IS LOVE – CHER keeps that mantra all the time. It is so relevant this Gay Pride weekend when America has finally said you can marry whom you wish and share equal rights. Cher is love. Love is all.
Mondays on Memory Lane – I DREAM OF JEANNIE 30 and 40 YEARS LATER: I have met Barbara Eden 1-1/2 times in my lifetime. The first time was in the year 2000 while I was working in downtown Manhattan. I was on my lunch break and would usually have my lunch near City Hall Park. On Wednesday, February 16th at 12 noon I got to the park and I could see this huge, huge line of almost only men outside of the mega store J&R Music and Computer World at 15 Park Row just opposite City Hall. There was this unusual heightened buzz of excitement about them so naturally I had to go over to investigate. I thought it was probably a Playboy Bunny or pin-up girl or some hot girl rocker. The line snaked out of the store and down the block. It was three to four men deep. The closer they got to the entrance of the store, they would all stand on their tippy toes to see “her” inside. “It’s Jeannie! It’s really Jeannie! Man, she looks great!”
‘Jeannie who’ I wondered, what Jeannie in 2000 could cause such a stir of excitement? I went to the guard at the door and tried to claim I was just going to shop – but no dice “Gotta get in line, all the other men are dreamin’ of Jeannie too, bud.” That Jeannie?! I was filled with excitement and headed around the corner to the back of the line, with at least 100 – 150 men ahead of me. What was so extraordinary about this frenzy was . . . this was way before Barbara Eden was heavily promoting the old beloved TV series as she does now and signing replicas of the famous bottle. She was there to promote the now defunct Cygion Cyber Genie, a micro PBX cordless phone system.
Since it was a promotional tour, her time schedule was limited. You could hear the J&R personnel saying that they had not expected such an enormous turnout. So, by the time I got inside the door, only to see her far on the other end of the store, the announcement was made, “I’m sorry fellas, but Miss Eden would love to meet you all, but she has to go.” That started a big roar of boos but also wolf call whistles to let her know how ‘hot’ they thought she was. Now in retrospect, I think working for Cygion must have been part of the wake up call to Barbara Eden to realize how still very beloved and popular she was thirty years after the show’s end.
Fast forward to Friday, October 27, 2010, ten years later and I am about to have my “Dream” come true! I am attending the Chiller Theater Autograph Show in Parsippany, New Jersey, where TV, movie, sci-fi, and music stars come for you to meet them and get their autographs and photos for a price. Finally I was going to meet Jeannie. I got there early and the lines were very long. Patty Duke was there, John Astin of ‘Addams Family’, Linda Blair, Richard Roundtree of ‘Shaft’ fame, LeVar Burton of ‘Roots’, the entire surviving cast of ‘Jeannie’ and ‘Dallas’ including Larry Hagman and so, so many more. So you’d think with that many stars inside, the crowd would evenly be distributed inside, the way water seeks it’s own level. No. Most people raced to the Jeannie/Dallas room, the wait in the hot hotel hallway was about two hours. (Larry Hagman passed me in the hallway on the way to the bathroom, lol, surreal.)
The wait was worth it. She was and is radiant. She beams love. There is an incredible gentility to her. She looked amazing! There was a man selling replicas of the bottle, which I had, had to have! I bought the bottle clenching it in my hand as I waited to meet Jeannie forty years later! How is it that I had aged and Jeannie hadn’t…yeah I know, she really is a genie! The moment came, I was next in line! My heart pounded, my palms started to sweat, my knees a little shaky, this was so surreal…a few steps more…a few steps more and I was in the arms of Barbara Eden. I had died and gone to heaven!
In 2010 I had met an extraordinary amount of celebrities on my wish list, including my obsession Cher (whom I had met before), but out of allll those stars, it was Jeannie that was the biggest thrill. To look at my nightstand today and see the signed bottle next to my bed is awesome, so I can truly ‘dream’ of Jeannie ♥.
Show a little more,
Show a little less,
Let me do a few tricks,
Some old and then some new tricks,
I’m very versatile.
Add a little smoke…
And if you’re real good,
I’ll make you feel good,
I want your spirit to climb,
Welcome to Burlesque!
Everything you dream of,
But never can possess.
So let me entertain you,
We’ll have a real good time,
Outside it is winter. But in here it’s so hot.
Every night we have to battle with the girls
to keep them from taking off all their clothings.
So don’t go away. Who knows?
Tonight we may lose the battle!
Nothing’s what it seems . . .
Welcome to Burlesque!
Can you determine how many cabarets these lyrics are from?
WHAT WILL YOU DO IN YOUR FINAL HOURS ON EARTH?: According to the Mayans and many other ancient soothsayers from the past centuries, December 21st, 2012 has been predicted as the end of the earth. Now logistically – when does the universe &/or God determine the final bang should begin?? Each new day starts on Christmas Island in the Indian Ocean at 5am local New York time, so by Thursday the 20th at 5am we’re already screwed, but – if you’re reading this then the great chain reaction didn’t start and it proves the Mayans simply didn’t have a big enough rock for their calendar and they only had enough room till 12/21/12.
But if the end does come….how will you spend your last hours on earth?
Having that last great meal?
Spending all your money shopping?
Drinking till the end?
Making a list of questions you have for God?
Having great sex?
Listening to your favorite piece of music?
Watching ‘War of the Worlds’ or ‘The Day the Earth Stood Still’?
Quietly with loved ones?
Opening the bottle of fine wine you have been saving?
Calling someone and tell then you forgive them?
Playing every last Cher (or insert favorite artist here _____ ) CD you have till…?
Reviewing and burning your bucket list?
Calling your boss and telling him what you think of him?
Going to the most expensive restaurant in town knowing the bill won’t matter in a few hours?
Finally buying that pair of Louboutin shoes and going in style?
Be happy you don’t have to make your bed and do the dishes?
Getting your camera ready, because this should be one helluva final shot!?
Listening to Sinatra over and over again singing ‘I Did It My Way’?
Or just sitting back with a beer and say “Fasten your seatbelts it’s going to be a bumpy night!”?
I myself, will be listening to Peggy Lee’s recording of “Is That All There Is?”, over and over again.
However you spend the time – it’s been swell guys!
SCOTT CLARKE aka CRABBY CARDS has become a dear friend and we have never met! We are one of the many Facebook friendships that have resulted from finding things we have in common – for us it’s CHER.
He is a wonderful father, friend, fan and humorous and humanitarian cartoonist and caricature artist. Cher herself is a fan of his cards as are many of the celebs he so lovingly portrays. He works hard at his local Annapolis, Maryland Home Depot where paints all the event signs, does face painting for the children’s events and in his spare time cares for his group of seniors he calls “my Golden Girls.”
This morning I awoke to find I had joined the ranks of Cher, Dolly Parton and Streisand! I have been Scot-tooned! He has lovingly captured “me”!
If you have a nearby event or need the more unusual cards for all sorts of events and causes check him out! Cards, signs, posters, shirts that have a bit of sass, laffs and attitude, please contact him or visit his web site, you won’t regret it and it will make you smile!
443 875 8641
Lyric from CHER’s 1979 album “Prisoner”
I’m shoppin’, gonna buy my blues away
Shoppin’, I’m walking up to the counter and say
I want this sweater, I sure feel better
Shoppin’, gonna take my troubles to town
Shoppin’, you don’t need money down
Charge it, wrap it, send it shoppin’
Ever since my mother took me to a big department store
My heartbeat escalated all the way to the second floor
I couldn’t hide my passion for the latest fashion craze
My mama told me that’s just another phase I’m going through
Whatcha got that’s new?
Shoppin’, gonna buy my blues away
Shoppin’, I got bad news today
Instead of eating ’cause my man’s cheating
Shoppin’, I’m gonna take my troubles to town
Shoppin’, while everyone else is smokin’, token’, coken’
Well, I’ll be shoppin’, hit it, boys
Excuse me Miss, see that, the dress over there?
How many colors does it come in?
Yes, all right, no, I’d like every one
No, I’m not going to try it, I know it’ll fit
Ooh, you know what?
Let’s go up, oh, they’re having a sale
My God, I love salesNo, I don’t have a last name
It’s just Cher, just plain Cher
Ooh, I like the shoes
Do you think you could wrap this thing
It’s all pink and wrinkly it’s…
What a darling little bag
Shoppin’, I’m gonna buy itShoppin’,
I never try it on for size
Shoppin, will I like it
Shoppin’, does the color match my eyes?
Folks say I’m daring for what I’m wearing
I’m always scaring the people’s staring
So I’m declaring, I’m tired of swearing
I’m just shoppin’
Shoppin’, I’m gonna but my blues away
Shoppin’, I got bad news todayShoppin’, I’m gonna take my troubles to town
Shoppin’, don’t need money down
Shoppin’, gonna buy my blues away
Shoppin’, walking up to the counter and say
I want that sweater, I sure feel betterShoppin’, charge it, wrap it, send it
Shoppin’, instead of eating ’cause my man’s cheating
I’ve been shoppin
‘While other people may be smokin’, token’, coken’
I’ll be shoppin’
If I Could Turn Back Time
If I could turn back time
If I could find a way
take back those words that have hurt you
And you’d stay
I don’t know
why I did the things I did
I don’t know why I said the things I
Pride’s like a knife, it can cut deep inside
Words are like weapons,
they wound sometimes
I didn’t really mean to hurt you
I didn’t wanna
see you go
I know I made you cry
If I could turn back
time, if I could find a way
I’d take back those words that have hurt
You’d stay if I could reach the stars
I’d give them all to you, then
you’d love me, love me
Like you used to do, if I could turn back
My world was shattered, I was torn apart
Like somebody took a
And drove it deep in my heart
When you walked out that door
swore that I didn’t care
But I lost everything darling then and
Too strong to tell you I was sorry
Too proud to tell you I was
I know that I was blind and darling
If I could turn back time,
if I could find a way
I’d take back those words that have hurt you
you’d stay if I could reach the stars
I’d give them all to you then you’d
love me, love me
Like you used to do, if I could turn back time
could turn back time, if I could turn back time
If I could turn back time, oh
I didn’t really mean to hurt you
I didn’t wanna see you go, I know I
made you cry
If I could turn back time, if I could find a way
back those words that have hurt you
And if I could reach the stars
give them all to you then you’d love me, love me
Like you used to do, if I
could turn back time
DARK LADY LAUGHED AND DANCED AND LIT THE CANDLES ONE BY ONE:
Dark lady laughed and danced
And lit the candles one by one
Danced to her gypsy music
Till her brew was done
Dark lady played black magic
Till the clock struck on the twelve
She told me more about me
Than I knew myself . . .