Daily photographs by HANS VON RITTERN, with humorous, artistic and social commentary on life in the big city.

Posts tagged “dog

Photo of the day: “THEY GAVE ME A FUCKING CHIHUAHUA?!”

SEEING EYE BOSTON TERRIER

Photo of the day: “THEY GAVE ME A FUCKING CHIHUAHUA?!”The classic Bette Midler joke…

Two women go for a walk with their dogs one day.

One had a Doberman; The other a Chihuahua.

“Look, there’s a bar open. Let’s go in. Have a drink,”
Doberwoman said.

“We can’t. We’ve got dogs,” Chihuahuawoman said.

“Just watch me. Do as I do,” Doberwoman said.

She put on her D&G shades, Walked boldly to the door
Where a bouncer said, “Sorry lady. No dogs. It’s the law.”

“You don’t understand!” Doberwoman said, “This is my seeing-eye dog.”

“A Doberman?” The bouncer asked.

“Yes, they’re using them now. They’re very good!”
Doberwoman said.

The bouncer shrugged And opened the door. Across the street,

Chihuahuawoman thought Convincing bouncer Chihuahua was seeing-eye dog may be a stretch But whatheheck—

Wearing her DKNY shades Strolled warily to the door— “Oops!” The bouncer said,

“No pets. Sorry.” “You don’t understand,” Chihuahuawoman said, “This is my seeing-eye dog.”

“A Chihuahua?” the bouncer asked Shaking his head.

“A Chihuahua??” Wailed Chihuahuawoman. “THEY GAVE ME A FUCKING CHIHUAHUA?!?!?”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_eQk_MeTBU


Photo of the day: CANINE PLASTIC SURGEON

CANINE PLASTIC SURGEON

CANINE PLASTIC SURGEON: Droopy dawg? Limp tail? Sagging boobs? Ears too big? Juggly jowls? Can’t afford Joan Rivers’ plastic surgeon? Take your dog to Doctor Armond, plastic surgeon of the dogs! This ad appeared recently on New York City subways just in time for April Fools. What it really is, is an ad for TV’s Comedy Central Show, the link PuppyLift.com takes you directly to The Kroll Show on their station.
I have to admit – this being New York, where dog walkers get up to $25 per dog per half hour, where dogs wear Prada coats and Gucci collars, spend an hour on the doggie psychiatrist’s couch and then go to doggie hair style salons to finish off their day only to go home to  eat catered meals and drink bottled spring water . . . I was fooled by it…for a moment 🙂

Photo of the day: SATURDAY IS BATH NIGHT – WHY?

NOEL - my sheepdog/terrier mix

NOEL – my sheepdog/terrier mix

SATURDAY NIGHT IS BATH NIGHT – WHY?: ‘Why
couldn’t we have just gone to the park instead?’. 

Our dog ‘Noel’ was found Christmas day in a shelter slated to be euthanized at 6 months old. She became our ‘Clifford the big red dog’. She went from a tiny ball of fluff, to a 60lb ball of fluff. Mom calls her ‘the throw rug with legs’.  She is 13 years old now . . . but she thinks she is only one years old. 🙂

 


From the gallery: GRAMMAR IS EVERYTHING

GRAMMAR IS EVERYTHING: I saw this sign posted on a fence in a nearby neighborhood and had to ‘borrow’ it, it is just too priceless – it now hangs in my kitchen. I think they meant ‘Curb Your Dog.’ 🙂
(I love how ‘dog’ is an afterthought.)